I'd rather be nude than cute

I have always been interested in exploring what “cute” actually means. Why is

it that people choose to call someone or something cute? They throw this word

at persons with big eyes, bright smiles, small tits. Wait..., what?

If you call someone cute, it alters how that person will be perceived. It

suggests naivety, innocence, dependency – as if he or she is not fully capable

to do certain things himself.

A cute girl. Yep, that is me... or rather, that is what I have been called my whole life.

Cute little girl, kawaii Asian girl, a girl with a cute smile.

I do not fit in the cute ideal, however.

When I was young, I wanted to be big and grown-up like the rest and to be

accepted for who I actually was, not just because of my cuteness.

I use myself, my sexuality to manipulate the way I have been labelled.

To achieve that I discovered that I could confuse people with my cuteness by

using sexuality. By being provocative and putting this sexuality mask on myself,

people started to treat me as a grown-up woman. The sexiness became a mask

I could use to be accepted as a grown-up independent woman.